Nicole Garelick

Nicole Garelick

Writer & Essayist — Chicago, IL

Nicole
Garelick.

Nicole Garelick is a Chicago-based writer and the creator of The Performance Plan, a Substack newsletter about the comedy of getting life wrong.

She lives with her husband and two young kids, which gives her a lot of material.

Her essays and writing have appeared in Hey Alma, Spread the Jelly, and Katie Couric Media, among others.

Her work has also been featured in the newsletters HelloGloria, HungUp, and Platonic Love.

Represented by Jennifer Simpson · CAA

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Published Work

Essays, Writing, & Humor Pieces

CSM: Constantly Seeking Mother

Spread the Jelly — Featured Essay

CSM: Constantly Seeking Mother

Not in the DSM-5, but it could be. On grief, gym strangers, and the endless search for women who might fill small pieces of the space a mother leaves behind.

Hamantaschen

Hey Alma

You Should Host a Hamantaschen-Baking Party. Here's How.

February 2026

Menorah

Hey Alma

What Does Your Menorah Say About You?

December 2024

High Holidays

Hey Alma

What You're Really Thinking About During High Holidays Services

September 2024

Words of Condolence

Katie Couric Media

Words of Condolence: What to Say to Someone Who Has Lost a Loved One

2024

Also

Curated Hey Alma's Get the Look: Shulcore — 1,400+ likes

Newsletter

The Performance
Plan.

1,300+ subscribers

A newsletter about the comedy of getting life wrong.

Subscribe on Substack

Recent Issues

Things That Shouldn't Be This Scary

A phone call from your kid's school. A lone open scissor in the bedroom. The bolding and tone of camp forms.

Sorry but I Have to Run Away

On treadmills, forty-seven to-do list items, and running like you're escaping your own flesh.

I bought a phone-blocking magnet stone because I'm addicted to reaching the end of the internet.

Milestones No One Mentions

My five-year-old learned to put his own shows on the TV. This is bigger than walking.

On how long three minutes can be when a two-year-old is in charge of time.

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Get in Touch

Say Hello.

For pitches, collaborations, or just to say hi, reach out at:

nicolegarelick@gmail.com