Nicole Garelick
Nicole Garelick

Writer & Essayist — Chicago, IL

Nicole
Garelick.

Nicole Garelick is a Chicago-based writer and the creator of The Performance Plan, a Substack newsletter about the comedy of getting life wrong.

She lives with her husband and two young kids, which gives her a lot of material.

Her essays and writing have appeared in Hey Alma, Spread the Jelly, and Katie Couric Media, among others.

Represented by Jennifer Simpson · CAA

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Published Work

Essays, Writing, & Humor Pieces

CSM: Constantly Seeking Mother

Spread the Jelly — Featured Essay

CSM: Constantly Seeking Mother

Not in the DSM-5, but it could be. On grief, gym strangers, and the endless search for women who might fill small pieces of the space a mother leaves behind.

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Hamantaschen

Hey Alma

You Should Host a Hamantaschen-Baking Party. Here's How.

February 2026
Menorah

Hey Alma

What Does Your Menorah Say About You?

December 2024
High Holidays

Hey Alma

What You're Really Thinking About During High Holidays Services

September 2024
Words of Condolence

Katie Couric Media

Words of Condolence: What to Say to Someone Who Has Lost a Loved One

2024

Also

Curated Hey Alma's Get the Look: Shulcore — 1,400+ likes

Newsletter

The Performance
Plan.

1,300+ subscribers

A newsletter about the comedy of getting life wrong.

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Fan Favorites

Laissez Faire Swimming
Top post
Mother of The Year
Top post
Nipples for Spring
Top post
Decoding Your Wife's Questions
Top post
I'm Not Just the Air Traffic Controller of Summer
Top post

Recent Issues

Things That Shouldn't Be This Scary
A phone call from your kid's school. A lone open scissor in the bedroom. The bolding and tone of camp forms.
February 2026
Sorry but I Have to Run Away
On treadmills, forty-seven to-do list items, and running like you're escaping your own flesh.
March 2026
The $57 Rock
I bought a phone-blocking magnet stone because I'm addicted to reaching the end of the internet.
January 2026
Milestones No One Mentions
My five-year-old learned to put his own shows on the TV. This is bigger than walking.
January 2026
Three Minutes
On how long three minutes can be when a two-year-old is in charge of time.
March 2026
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